Am I Michael Scott?

Here’s a late night moment of truth I might later regret writing. We started watching The Office two weeks ago and I can’t stop wondering if I’m like Michael Scott. Maybe even Dwight Schrute?? Why am I even writing this?

Michael Scott

For those that don’t know, Michael Scott is the awkward, good intentioned, fairly out to lunch boss in the show. I’d like to think that I lack his “accidentally offensive” attribute but I relate to him in enough ways that it’s concerning.


First of all, you don’t call retarded people retards. That’s a totally legitimate statement. Also, I wrote an entire blog post on the word retard… so shit, I say politically incorrect stuff too.

Who Needs HR? Really? Who?

I don’t like Toby either. He’s funny sometimes but who likes HR? They are a department for telling people all the things they can’t do. Toby’s a downer.



I commend Michaels relentless effort to be liked. That’s all the poor guy wants are some good friends. I could use more of those in my life. I’ve tried expanding my friend count a few times in the past few years. I’d love more “yes man” buddies to ski, hike, and surf with.

Jim’s Kind of a Dick

I like Michael because screw Jim. He’s funny but he’s a dick most of the time. He can be condescending with a side of “I don’t give a shit.”

Jim doesn’t appear to have any more good friends than Michael does, but he makes fun of and looks down on Michael for trying to reach out. He also made a move on a girl who’s engaged. His pranks on Dwight are funny but often cruel despite Dwight being a very nice, albeit super nerdy, guy.


And also, that time that Michael wore that woman’s pant suit into the office… I didn’t notice and even after it was pointed out thought it looked legit.

So What If He’s Offensive?

I kind of mean that too. So what if he offends people? It’s almost always out of ignorance. He’s just an oblivious guy. He also happens to not have a mean bone in his body. He’s not hateful. He crosses the line while trying to be liked. Big damn deal.

Michael’s defining attribute is probably a fear of being alone and I think that’s legitimate. Most guys I meet aren’t trying embarrassingly hard, like Michael, to make friends yet most guys I know also don’t have many good friends. That’s sad, good friends are an awesome part of life! People are just too scared to fix their lack of good friends. Michael Scott is all over that problem.

So he’s a mix. He’s offensive all the time to about every race and group out there. Yet, he’s also Mr. Good-Intentions who, regardless of color or sex or religion, likes and wants to be friends with everyone, except Toby. Think of it this way, if the world were made of Michael Scotts, there wouldn’t be hate. Everybody would be friends… and also there would be no HR department.

It Gets Worse

I even relate to Dwight. It’s painful to admit it. I know as much about space as he does about bears. I wish I drove an old muscle car. I wish I had throwing stars. I also try hard on everything I do and definitely look lame for taking everything so seriously.

This Is the End (-;

So here I stand having more in common with Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute than anyone else on the show. Now what the hell do I do? Get an old muscle car and throwing stars I guess. I am what I am.




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