Prostitution, We’ve Got It Wrong

This article has been sitting open in my phone browser for months:

Investigator Caught With Prostitute

Essentially a while back, during the President’s business trip to Columbia, a handful of secret service agents got caught with hookers while off duty . Most were forced to resign.

Dania Suarez - Hooker in scandal
  Colombian hooker scandal
The reason I found the article so interesting was that the investigator, sent from Washington, got caught with hookers while he was there investigating!

You’re a Pervert & You’re a Pervert & You’re a Pervert…

When the investigator of a prostitution scandal gets caught with a prostitute it should force you to reflect. I think it’s worth wondering if, when it comes to making prostitution both illegal and shameful, if we have have it quite wrong.

I don’t think every guy wants to use a prostitute. On the contrary, I think it’s a low point for both men and women. It’s a sign of desperation. For women, it’s desperation for money and often to provide for their kids. For men, it’s desperation to satisfy sexual desire but also, I think, sometimes desperation for connection. I also suspect that many men, even those who don’t wish to partake in prostitution, think it should be legal but go along with “finding it perverted” just to avoid public ridicule.

Apparently, this scandal goes even further. There’s an “advance team” that goes in before the President arrives. The investigator, David Nieland, alleges that a member of the advance team was also found to have used hookers while in Colombia, but that it was omitted from the report to prevent public embarrassment:

Mr. Nieland said that during its preparation, he had been asked to delete derogatory information because it was potentially damaging to the administration during an election year. That information, he told the subcommittee investigators, was that a volunteer member of the White House advance team in Cartagena also had a prostitute in his room.

I used to think prostitution wasn’t that popular. I grew up in New Hampshire and never saw it or heard about it, but I was young and unaware. Even in the small town next door to mine, Kittery ME, there was prostitution. You just don’t hear about it until the transaction goes wrong and it ends up on the news. This prostitute was discovered in Kittery just a few years ago and had kept the names of over 150 different paying clients:

21 Clients of “Zumba” Instructor Charged With Prostitution

And in the same small town, a year later, three more prostitutes were arrested:

Three Women Arrested

Google research on any small town and you’ll find that prostitution has shown up there. This tells you something. It’s a sign of disequilibrium in the way we live. For example, heavy drinking is something I view as another issue in America. It’s easily to see, because people don’t hide it because it’s not illegal and there’s very little social backlash for it. However, if you wanted to reduce the use of alcohol, making it illegal would just force it underground. You have to fix the disequilibrium to reduce drinking. You have to first ask “why do people want to drink?” and fix the cause, not criminalize the symptom.

So Every Guy Is a Pervert?

No, I don’t believe most men want to use prostitutes all the time but I do think men are not actually that against it either. Statistics show the majority of men look at porn. If most men are okay with a girl getting paid to have sex with a male porn star, I just don’t believe those same viewers are truly against prostitution. It would make no sense.

I would bet that prostitution has or will tempt most men at some point whether when they’re young and nervous or old and lonely. A strong desire for sex, despite being commonplace, is still publicly labeled perversion so it stays private. Of course the investigator building a case against the secret service agents publicly denounced prostitution, but obviously he was being dishonest about his views. He’s not alone.

Being Pro-Prostitution

I’m pro-prostitution in a pro-choice kind of way. I don’t think it’s a good job but it’s good money for single moms, for young women trying to pay their way through school, and for any woman who thinks the money is worth the job. However, I’m also pro-prostituon in a this-is-ignorant kind of way.

Sex, nudity, and desire show up everywhere, in all human cultures. From ancient Greek orgies to India’s Karma Sutra temple’s, sex was clearly always just as pursued and enjoyable. It’s not a modern perversion. Desire will always be the first step in reproduction.

The desire is real and there’s a lot of research that shows monogamy is an uphill battle as well. Research shows there’s a natural desire in males to desire multiple partners. With partner-repetitive sex the brain gets less and less stimulated but a new partner brings it right back to full steam.

It’s clear that our legal or societal system is an unnatural one. That’s why the system is so often broken. The popularity of porn and prostitution are reflections of how broken the system is.

When I lived in Phuket (Thailand) I’d see a lot of guys with Thai girls that may have been prostitutes. Often these were older men with middle aged Thai women. Sometimes it was also younger men with a deformation, missing limb, or some other characteristic that had likely made it hard for them to find a partner. I’ve been to strip clubs where you see old men just paying a woman to sit and talk for hours. My point is, it’s not purely an issue of sexual desire.

It’s also worth noting that prostitution may be the most efficient system for transferring money from rich men to poor women. I am sure the amount dwarfs charitable donations. Just a thought.

I kept that secret service article open for months, wanting to find time to write about it and reflect more on it. It’s good food for thought. I still don’t have a solution but I do believe our expectations are unrealistic and it’s probably because some people are delusional.



One response to “Prostitution, We’ve Got It Wrong

  1. Pingback: Topless & Ignorant | Pause for Clarity·

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